Show Your Cookies and Thank Me Later

Blog Post #27. Appreciating what we have is a great way to start the day and find happiness. We all have something, or many things, to be thankful for. Thinking of all I have and all that is good is the way I try to start my day. I took this photo in Vancouver near where I live on Thanksgiving Day. Beauty, inspiration, and appreciation captured on one amazing October evening in Vancouver.

Vancouver 2

While it’s great to be thankful, it doesn’t mean that we can’t strive for more. It’s just that it’s important that ‘the more’ is not a requirement for happiness. We can always choose happiness all along the journey, whatever journey that may be.

Recently, I’ve been tackling a number of writing, educational, and fitness projects.

Writing: I have four current projects on the go. Unfortunately, I don’t have any more published articles to share at this time but hope to have one or two before the year is finished. I did find a writing job that I was going to apply for. The ad said, “Plummer wanded. Must be sertified. Locals to Halfiax only.” The ad was wisely placed in the “Writer Needed” section.

On the education front, I have been reading regularly to increase my nursing and medical knowledge. It can’t all be suppositories, misunderstandings, and laughter.

Fitness: I have moved from body weight leg training sessions to the real deal barbell squats and dead lifts once a week. I’ll let you know how it goes once I can stand up straight and feel my feet again.

Giving Thanks

Thanks to everyone who has supported my blog by sending me e-mails, or social media messages with words of encouragement. I have even had a few people at work that I don’t really know say they’ve liked my writing. It’s been encouraging and fun. I hope to keep it going and continue to enjoy the journey. If you like my work, please ‘share’ or ‘like’ my articles and blog posts on social media and pass them on to your friends and family…..or you can e-mail me money directly:)

Warning: Sense of Humour Required.  

My wife and I have recently booked a flight to take part in a foreign humanitarian aid project. Fires have devastated many areas around the globe this past summer and my wife and I really wanted to find a way to give back. We will be travelling to Napa, California in February to support the wine tour industry and local wineries by viewing the area (isn’t that how world leaders help disaster areas?), sampling local products, and giving moral support. It was the least we could do. Don’t let it be said we didn’t do the least we could do.

Words of Wisdom

1. I recently read an amazing quote that I wanted to share. I couldn’t find who originally said it. I want to give credit where credit is due. I’m just going to assume whoever said it was inspired by and got the words from Jesus. So I’ve taken this quote from Jesus and added to it for ‘Words of Wisdom’:
“Motivation, inspiration, and determination will come. It may not seem like it sometimes. These things will eventually find you. You just have to be at the gym warming up.”

2. Reading and math are important! In my last post I shared about my new reading challenge. I challenged myself to read ten minutes a day in the morning before starting my day. So far so good as I’ve stuck to that goal. I’m now going to start a new challenge. I’m going to work on my math skills for ten minutes each morning before getting on with my day. That’s 55 minutes a week of working on my math skills. Over four weeks, that’ll be 310 minutes of math practice time! I’ll let you know how it goes.

It’s time for the ending joke/stories. It’s a little fun. No need to be offended. Enjoy.

My wife and I drove to the States last year for a mid-week getaway brewery tour. On our return, the border guard was not very nice or personable. She began asking all sorts of questions about where we had been and what we were bringing back.

She asked, “What were you doing there?”

I replied, “We went on a brewery tour.”

“What do you do? What kind of jobs let you go travelling and brewery touring in the middle of the week?”

“A job like yours; a 24 hour-seven day a week-functioning organization that needs people to work at any and all times.”

“What were the names of the breweries you went to?”

“Ummm, there was Backoff Brewing, Interrogatemuch Brewing, and TheWhatsYourProb Brewery…..we didn’t make it to the Powertrippy Brewpub.”

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I recently took a course on how to deal with people who become agitated and angry (through dementia, delirium, drugs, mental illness, anger issues etc). One strategy suggested that you offer them cookies and ice cream and show them photos on your phone of your cat. It was a long day talking about a myriad of issues and scenarios. I went to work a week later and someone asked me what I learned from the course.

I said, “Well, one strategy is to take out your phone and show them photos of your cookies and then offer them cat and ice cream.”

 

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Humbly Getting to the End

Blog Post #26. Why are some people smug and arrogant? Why do some of us look down on others? It seems really stupid once you have some inkling of how life works. Life will absolutely kick you directly in the face at some point no matter who you are. Whether you’re rich, poor, gifted, talented, lazy, good looking, successful, lucky, hard working, motivated, ambitious, or fortunate, life will smack you right at the base of your being leaving you wondering if you’ll ever get up again. How can we be anything but humble when we know every moment is fleeting and undoubtedly temporary? Even though I’m here writing this blog, with over a million or so followers, you don’t see me bragging about another published article or how my blog post on the future of healthcare has gone viral! Be humble and compassionate. None of us are getting out of here alive or without a few kicks to the teeth.

Published!

Since travelling is one of my favorite things to do, it’s not surprising that travel writing has been a large part of my portfolio. This month I had another travel article published by WanderGoGo. They’ve got a lot of useful travel information and links to fantastic travel products. They’ve also been great to work with. Check out my article on a little town in Mexico that I’ve been fortunate to visit twice.

http://www.wandergogo.com/mexico-on-a-budget-rincon-de-guayabitos/

I was disappointed that they decided to edit out one of my jokes (in other words, remove it). I originally wrote, “Grab a few snacks and cervazas to enjoy a picnic on the island while watching pelicans awkwardly dive bomb into the water. From August to January, watch local sea turtle conservations release baby turtles into the ocean. Someone keep those darn pelicans away!” The last sentence was removed. I guess my humour isn’t always for everybody. I hate it when life kicks me in the face like that. I’m thinking of starting a GoFundMe page to have the joke re-instated. Sign the petition, join the movement, end censorship, and stand up for what’s right!

It’s not the first time they’ve edited a bit of my work. I almost didn’t see it. It was in my first article with them where at the very end, they changed my sentence to begin with the word, “But….”. I would never begin a sentence with the word “But”. But they did publish my article, so I can’t really complain.

Foodie Time

My photo for this post is a foodie pic I took of a wonderful dessert platter that was given to my wife in August. Delicious calorie bombardment!!

BH Dessert

In life, it’s important to say “yes” to possibilities and opportunities. It’s also very important to sometimes say, “no”. After being offered a food blogger position with a local start up, I had to politely decline. There was way too much of a time and resource commitment required of me that I didn’t want to fulfill. I’m loving what I’m doing now (blogging and article writing on various topics) and I didn’t want to sacrifice that for one niche. It was a difficult decision but the right one. I want to wish Hidden Gems all the best going forward. They have ambitions of reinventing the coverage of the Vancouver food scene and promoting small locally owned restaurants. Check out their site here:

http://tryhiddengems.com/

Words of Wisdom

1. Reading is good for you. I’ve started a ten minute/a day reading challenge. I read ten minutes in the morning as soon as I wake up and before I do anything. It may not seem like much but it does add up (70 minutes of extra reading per week) and gets me off to a good start for the day.

2. With all the craziness that can happen at any given moment, being prepared is important (not ‘Melania’s shoes-important’ but still important). When life gives you peanuts, make sure you have your epi-pen! If the electricity isn’t working, your place still needs to be cleaned.

How am I supposed to vacuum the house with the power out?

Suck it up!

 

You’ve endured my lectures and updates. Now it’s time for my Original ending jokes: Getting kicked in the face and some nursing humour. Enjoy!
I was excited about my nursing joke about orange cheese from Blog Post #24. It didn’t get the response I expected. The knock knock joke from my nephew that I tweaked for Blog Post #2 was more popular. I was talking to my nephew’s mother about my orange cheese joke and she said, “Don’t worry. I’ll send you more of my son’s knock knock jokes.”

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I brought a patient all his medication one evening. I brought his pills, liquid, an inhaler, eye drops, two injections, and a suppository.

I asked him, “Would you like to get the suppository over with first?”

He said, “No. I’ll save that for the end.”

 

Measure Once. Cut Twice. No Erorrs.

It’s October and time for Blog Post # 25! I meant to write sooner but I forgot my Blog-In password. I can’t believe I forgot ‘royishilarious’. I continue to work on my writing and have a few different projects on the go. Thanks to everyone who connected with me on LinkedIn and gave me some advice…..still not really getting it. My photo for this blog is from Mexico.

Mexico

No, this is not the wall that Trump promised separating Mexico from the United States, although that does look like Trump in the background. No, wait. That’s the evil eye of Sauron. Same thing.

It looks like I will begin writing for a Vancouver food blog after all. I’ve been welcomed to the team and am looking forward to trying some tasty food and passing the info on via photos and the written word. They’re a site that’s been around for a while but they’re in the process of revamping and adding more bloggers and content. I’ll share more as I know more but I’m not expecting I’ll have any articles coming up from them for some time.

I was published again last week. I wrote an opinion piece for my workplace (Vancouver Coastal Health) blog. It’s not for everyone but if you’re a healthcare worker or know someone who is, it may be of interest. It’s basically my thoughts on the future of healthcare and about sharing ideas on how to improve the system for everyone. You can read it here:

http://vchblogs.ca/took-vch-survey/

This month is my vacation from work. Before you say, “Hold on a sec’! Don’t you work part time and take 4 – 9 days off at a time?” Yes, yes I do. Usually, I take my vacation time in October and then travel to some amazing place. This year, I will be staying at home in Vancouver (also an amazing place) while hosting my cousin who will be visiting from Norway. This will be his first ever visit to North America. This will definitely cut into my writing time so I won’t have any new articles coming out for a while. I’m looking forward to a good staycation and wonder if a little Vancouver travel article might get started. I hope to do all the touristy things here in Vancouver, on Vancouver Island, and even Seattle that I have yet to do.

Preparing for Food Blogging

Recently, I’ve been in a lot of discussions about food and diet. For those who follow my blog, you know I’m a protein advocate. I was eating 160 – 180 grams of protein a day. I’ve cut that back to 135 – 160 grams a day due to recent research and the desire to have a bit more energy for running. It is very interesting what people think is “healthy.” Did you know, “if it has seafood or red meat in it, you shouldn’t eat it. It’s not good for you.” ? Did you also know that the healthiest people are vegans and vegetarians? I also learned that, “the ketogenic diet is the best thing for you.” Really? No wonder Trump won the US election. Fake news makes anything and everything possible. If you can make it up, you can make it true. Thanks Internet.

I was recently asked if I was a vegetarian.

I said, “No, I decided to be healthy instead.”

“Well, I’m a vegan. That’s healthy.”

“Nothankyoulations!”

Measure This

I came across something weird at a restaurant recently. The menu offered a case of chicken wings. What is that? It also offered quarts of beer.

”I’ll have a quart of ale and a truss of asparagus with my case of chicken wings. My friend would like a cord of French fries with a cup of ketchup and a demiard of beer. We can’t pay you now but I’ll write you a check for a dozen half-pieces that you can cash in a fortnight.”

Try reading that part again with a posh British accent.

Words of Wisdom

1. Even if you fail at something, remember to learn from your mistakes and let the lessons of being unsuccessful guide you to success. I was recently asked what the most important lesson is that I’ve learned since starting freelance writing. I said that success comes from being mistake free and meticulous with the details. Make sure your work is free of erorrs and typos.

Proof reading is just like the blood bank. You’re always looking for Type Os.

2. If you want someone to do you a favour, you’ve got to know how to ask properly….maybe offer to do them a favour in exchange. Always say, “please” and “thank you.” My wife has learned how to ask me for favours. One day she was struggling to open a jar. She was trying so hard, her face turned red, and finally she stopped and said, “Oh my god. Can you open this jar?”

“Now you’re learning to ask properly.”

Thanks to everyone who emailed me about the orgy joke. I’m glad you liked it. That was a 100% Roy-original that really came out of nowhere. My wife says it should go back there. For the ending joke this time, I’ve gone back to my tried and true: Star Wars. Enjoy.

My friend and I had a disagreement about ‘The Force Awakens’. He didn’t like it. He said it felt too much like “A New Hope”. He’s convinced the next movie will be just like “The Empire Strikes Back” with the wanna-be Jedi going to an isolated planet where the Jedi master has exiled himself, only to learn that a relative is the evil villain that needs to be faced. Then the third movie will be just like “Return of the Jedi” where the heroes need to rescued from a hoard of various muppets.
I said, “Ugh….you’re right. That’s not the worst part though. Then ten years later they’re going to digitally re-make and re-release the movies with a bunch of fraggles all over the place for no reason before making prequels about Kylo Ren’s childhood….ugh.”

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As an atheist, I do try to tread carefully in not offending. This joke may or may not offend….or even work.

Why is there no intelligent life on Mars?

1. Because Mars lacks prayer.

2. Because Mars doesn’t have any Believers.

3. Because Jesus is an only child and he wants to keep it that way.

4. Because God didn’t want to sacrifice another son.

5. Because God didn’t have another son.

6. Because God didn’t have another sun.

7. Because Bruno owns the naming rights and there’s no 24 Karat Magic in the air.

Orgies and Inspiration!! …and how to write clickable titles.

Blog Post #24 is finally here. We’re at the end of summer with fall just around the corner, yet everyone seems focused on the fact that, ‘Winter is Coming.’ I just spent the week in Kamloops, British Columbia, Canada enjoying warm sunny days with the time and freedom to get some writing done. I don’t call these trips ‘vacations’ anymore. My wife’s family is in Kamloops so I’m usually there 1-3 times a year. It’s a four hour drive but it took only an hour using “Game of Thrones Season Seven Logic”, a new type of intercontinental travel. From ‘A New Hope’ to ‘The Force Awakens’, advancements in TIE Fighter travel advanced minimally while travel across continents in six seasons of GoT went from weeks to minutes. Come on now!?

I took this photo at The Kamloops Wildlife Park in 2014. There were no dragons.….

20150723_113444

I have been neglecting my blog a little as I continue to work on getting more published articles out into the world. Success! I had a travel article I wrote about Poulsbo, Washington, U.S.A. published last week by the travel site, WanderGoGo. If you haven’t had a chance to read it, check it out here:

http://www.wandergogo.com/poulsbo-washington-little-norway/                                     (Please Like and Share on Facebook and/or Twitter if possible).

In other exciting news, I am again in the running to be writing for a Vancouver food blog. Let’s see how this attempt turns out. I’ve also been working hard at my LinkedIn profile and acquiring connections. If you’re on LinkedIn, connect with me there and give me some tips. I’m still not really sure what I’m doing. LinkedIn keeps suggesting jobs for me….full time, leadership, prestige, deadline-based jobs. Haven’t they read my blog? Work less. Enjoy life more!

Fake News: After seeing the success of Conor McGregor vs. Floyd Mayweather in the boxing ring, Connor McDavid will take on Roger Federer in a tennis match at Flushing Meadows for 100 billion dollars. Word is that McDavid is just waiting until Federer turns 100 years old.

My first blog post last year was inspired by a TED Talk by Tim Urban. The message was to stop procrastinating because we’re all running out of days. From that talk, this hilarious blog was born. Lately, I’ve been inspired by videos from Joe Rogan (yes, that Joe Rogan). He’s a comedian, Podcast host, UFC announcer, MMA practitioner, and former host of Fear Factor….exhausting. While I don’t necessarily agree with his views on a number of issues (chiropractors, ketogenic diets, TRT, etc.), I find his talks on life, motivation, working out, and how to live your best life to be awe-inspiring. I have watched this video over and over again and it has motivated me to work out more, write more often, fear less, and find inspiration in others. For inspiration, click here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e_eJRDl2J6Y

 
Words of Wisdom

1. Sometimes, you just need to take charge….even if you really don’t want to. There’s a saying that you need to “Own the day or the day will own you.” For those of us who work nights (and enjoy GoT), we have a similar saying; “Own the night or the knight (king) will own you.”

2.If you regularly walk or run around a circular track, spend an equal amount of time going in each direction. It will balance your muscles out as you won’t always be turning in the same direction.

The ending jokes this time are very experimental. Sometimes, you just have to try and see how it goes. Enjoy.

 
Credit to my dad for this one:

My dad walks the track every day. One day he was walking and met a guy there who was walking in the opposite direction as everyone else. My dad asked, “Why are you doing that?”

The guy said, “My physiotherapist says I should go to the track and walk an equal amount in each direction to balance my muscles.”

The next day, the guy was again there walking in the opposite direction as everyone else. Someone asked my dad, “Why is that guy going in the opposite direction?”

My dad replied, “His psychiatrist told him he should.”
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Before leaving a patient, I always ask, “Is there anything else you need?” Some patients can be funny, clever, or hilarious. I get answers like, “Yeah, a ticket out of here.”, “a million dollars.”, “a new healthy body.” etc. Sometimes I have to just smile, pretend I didn’t hear, and move on.

One shift, I asked my patient, “Is there anything else you need?”

He said, “Yeah. I want women and orgies!”

I brought him a cheddar Kraft Single.

“What the hell is this?”

“It’s the orange cheese you asked for.”

No, I Was Not Younger Then…

Summer blog posting…It’s Blog Post #23. It’s a whole lot of ‘practice what you preach’ as I’ve been working (nursing) less and writing more. I’ve recently finished two articles and have two more on the go. I’ve been emailing with editors and getting in contact with sources in hopes of having some new published pieces to share with you soon. Thanks to everyone who sent emails saying they enjoyed Blog Post #22. I also had quite a few people tell me they enjoyed the two nursing jokes at the end. No love found for the Star Wars joke though…

After posting my photo of Toronto last time, it seems only fitting that I share a recent photo of beautiful Vancouver. I took this photo from the top floor at Vancouver General Hospital showing False Creek and the downtown area I call ‘home’. I really need to work on my photography as I’m pretty sure I lost out on a job with a food blog when the food photos I had weren’t all that great. Rejection; one crappy part of this freelance writing thing.Vancouver VGH

Rejection can go both ways as I recently turned down an opportunity to write for a content writing company. They had tight deadlines, an elaborate screening process, and far too many restrictions for a casual writer like me. It can be very challenging to say, “no”. As a former chronic people-pleaser, I can attest to almost always saying ‘yes’ to projects, favours, and commitments. If I did happen to say ‘no’ (usually it was because I had other commitments/plans), I would be filled with feelings of guilt. Recently, I have changed my thinking. Saying ‘no’ is an important part of caring for ourselves. Your first obligation must be to yourself (meaning your emotional, physical, and mental well-being). For myself, the guilt of saying, ‘no’ is gone. I know what I want in life and what’s important to me. If I don’t define those things for myself and set forth my own agenda, there’s always someone who will find a way for me to help them with their agenda. It’s a known saying among caregivers, “You can’t care for others, if you don’t take care of yourself.”

Drink up!

A recent study in the Journal of Alzheimer’s Disease concluded that moderate to heavy drinking was linked to lower risk of dementia. Cheers to that!! What was I writing about again?

Great story!

Don’t worry. I remember. I remember a little too good. Recently, my wife said to me, “I heard this old song yesterday….or the day before…maybe it was last week. It was so good. I can’t remember what it was called. It brought back memories.”

I said, “It did? Seems like it erased memories. That’s not even a story. That’s not a thing that should be said. ‘I was on the train yesterday and there were people there. I didn’t know any of them. One looked like someone I used to know. Nobody said anything. The end.’ Does that sound like a story to you?”

Don’t take anything I write here too seriously. Sometimes, I need to be turned into the jerk to make it work.:).

Words of Wisdom

1.Don’t sing along with songs out loud to strangers if you can’t sing. Let the amazing artists that write and sing share their talent. That goes for concerts, the office, the bus, or wherever. Save it for the shower or your solo drive to work.

2. Don’t even try to write lyrics for songs. Don’t say, “It’s as easy as 3.14…” It’s not. It’s the hardest job in the world. Ed Sheeran is a walking, talking, singing, and writing miracle. Have you heard Castle on the Hill? Lyrical miracle! When he sings, “I was younger then…” ,my heart melts. When were you younger, Ed? “When you were six years old”? and “You broke your leg”? You were younger then? When I was six, I was younger too. It’s like he was speaking and singing directly to me.

3. If you really want to write music, do as Justin Bieber has recently done. Sing a song in another language. I know what you’re thinking. Roy, “What do you mean?”

It’s time for the ending jokes. I have to admit, I have a lot of new material lately. I’ll give out a couple and save some for Blog Post #24. Enjoy.
I was recently at an all day Dementia Care workshop. The instructor was quite good and went through the morning speaking about dementia, Alzheimer’s, cognitive impairment, and delirium. We then broke for lunch. When we returned, she asked, “Does anyone have any questions or comments on what we covered this morning?”

I said, “Yeah. What did we talk about again?”

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My wife’s friend was telling us about how she had recently taken up fishing and she was very excited, “I caught my first fish the other day!”

“Didn’t that upset the people at the pet store?”

 

Disclaimer: I actually enjoy quite a few Ed Sheeran songs.

 

A Cook and a Nurse Went Looking For Work…

And it’s Blog Post #22! We’re coming to the one year anniversary of my first published article. If you haven’t read it, check it out here:

http://www.mightynurse.com/sylvia-moreau-nursing-and-life-affirming-stories/
I met Sylvia for coffee last month. She is doing very well. She amazes and inspires me. Her story, although difficult and challenging, is also triumphant and a tribute to the human spirit. She’s talking of doing some writing of her own. I’ll share the link to her work should she decide to send it out into the internet-abyss. I believe she has a lot to say and can provide a unique perspective for people going through difficult times.

There’s little to update on my writing front….such is the life of a part time freelance writer. I have recently decided to commit more to my writing and will therefore be working less as a bedside Registered Nurse. This should mean more articles on a more regular basis and maybe a more active blog. Dare to dream!

Change can be a challenge. We find a comfort zone. We settle into a role or job and only disaster seems to push us out. I prefer to be proactive, risking a little to gain a lot. We internally decide what we’ll put up with, what we’ll accept, and then often never re-evaluate it. I’m nervous to reduce my hours as a nurse. It’s good reliable work. However, I can’t write about the virtues of using your time for passions, doing what you enjoy, and not exchanging your non-renewable time for money and then just focus on my work/career.

While nursing is a difficult and challenging career, I do find the feeling of helping people, giving back, and contributing to a greater good does give me a lot of satisfaction. I may not always enjoy it but I am very proud to be a nurse. I give my all and try my best and every once in a while, I feel like I really make a difference.

Job Hunting

I am fortunate to have worked in many different areas as a nurse. It’s quite interesting looking for nursing jobs. Ads will come up stating, “Nurse Urgently Needed!” or “Looking for Superstar Nurse. Apply Immediately!”

Did you not know that you were going to need a nurse?

Are people fleeing this job?

These are the questions I ask myself.

 

What about ads that require everything:

1. At least 5 years experience.

2. Specialty training in IVADs and Hickman Lines.

3. Trach. Care certification with ICU training.

4. Master’s Degree or equivilant.

Meanwhile, they don’t say who they are, what the hours are, what the pay is, or what the benefits are to working there (wherever ‘there’ is). Why should I take my valuable time to even apply for such a job, let alone devote any of my time to you or your company? Not just in nursing, but in all aspects of employment, value yourself. Job ads should say, “Here’s why you should work for us. This is what we can offer you.” It’s not a once waste streak.

My blog photo this week is of the CN Tower in Toronto, Canada. While walking downtown in May 2017, this amazing reflection caught my eye and this photo was born.

TO

Last week, my wife and I celebrated our ten year wedding anniversary. We decided to go on a road trip to Bainbridge Island near Seattle, U.S.A. We were going to bring some old books that we were looking to get rid of. I had recently asked someone where I should bring used books. He said to bring them to America. Every day, they’re getting a little closer to burning books. I don’t know how true that is but I know we only found friendly helpful hosts living their lives and treating us well. My wife and I had a wonderful time.

Words of Wisdom

1. If you have a seafood allergy, don’t go to a seafood restaurant! That’s like having a gluten allergy and going to a bakery. That’s like having an allergy to bee stings and sticking your hand in a hive. That’s like having a chocolate allergy and visiting Charlie at his factory. That’s like a diabetic going to Candyland. That’s like a barefoot person going to Legoland. That’s like having a peanut allergy and meeting Linus and Charlie at the rowdy part of the theatre. Don’t Do It!

2. Don’t eat food that doesn’t belong to you without asking first! I recently heard a story of a restaurant cook who saw a cake in the fridge. The cook didn’t know that the cake had been dropped off by a family that had reservations to celebrate a 50th birthday that night in the restaurant. The cake was worth over $600 U.S.D. The cook ate it. So at the end of dinner, the family asked for the cake to be brought out…..no cake. The manager had the pleasure of explaining that the cook had eaten the cake (they should have said it was dropped). I hope the dinner the cook made was good. What would you say if that was your cake?

  • The cook ate the cake.
  • Too many cooks spoiled the cake.
  • It was a piece of cake.
  • It was a piece of cook.
  • Cooking is a piece of cake.
  • You can have your cake and eat it too.
  • You can have their cake and eat it too.
  • That was icing on the cake.
  • That was icing on the cook.
  • You can’t have your cake and cook it too.
  • You can’t have your cook and cake too.
  • Way to go Cookcake!

It’s time for the usual ending jokes. Here’s a couple nursing jokes and a return to Star Wars. Enjoy

A patient rang the bell and I went to him and asked, “Hi, What would you like?”
He responded, “I want warm water and not this room temperature stuff. I want a new blanket. This one has some crumbs on it. My pillow needs fluffing. I require a different pair of socks. Also, change the channel on the TV. This is boring!” 

I replied, “Sir, I’m not your servant. I’m your nurse. You need to do your own stuff and comfort yourself. This is not a hotel with a personal maid service. You’re not in a resort. Stop being demanding, belligerent, and rude. Do things for yourself, jerk!!”

I didn’t actually say that.…..I don’t say ‘Hi’ or ask patients what they would like.
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Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Count Duke.
Count Duke who?
Count Duke who had his head cut off by Annakin.
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Credit to a fellow nurse colleague for this one. Thanks Leah!
Leah and I were helping a patient who was unable to get up from bed. The patient asked me why I went into nursing. I said that I needed to find something where I didn’t have to deal with people. We all laughed a little. Leah then said, “Roy wants to be a comedian but every time he would tell jokes, people would walk away. Nursing gives him the chance to tell jokes to people who are bedbound and not able to walk away.” Then we really laughed.

Blast From the Past with Electric Cars

Holy Blog Post Batman! It’s #21! There was sad news this week as we learned about the death of the mayor of Quahog, Rhode Island. Condolences to Carol Pewterschmidt West and her family.

It’s time for change. As photography seems so very linked to writing, I’ve decided to add one of my photographs to each blog post going forward. This first photo I took in 2013 while travelling in Kathmandu, Nepal. This is the Temple of Karunamaya in an area of Kathmandu called Jana Bahal. Nearby is a sign that says, “Followers of any religion are welcome in Jana Bahal.” That’s a nice sentiment and a positive message. It even made this atheist feel welcome. Hardly a planned photo, I was thrilled with how it turned out.                      Janabahal

After some email dialogue with a local food/beverage blog, it looked like I was going to become a regular contributor. Unfortunately, I will not be involved with them after all. That’s the way it goes sometimes as finding a fit is much more important than just finding work (or a worker). In exciting news, I’ve been doing some editing and advisory work with a physiotherapist working on an article on neuroplasticty and chronic pain. It’s an exciting project in an area that is extremely interesting. Another recent writing update is that I’ve started a Facebook Page to share my work and writing updates. You can search ‘Roy G Mundheim’ on Facebook and follow the link to the most hilarious writing I’ve ever written.

Living In The Past

Focusing on the past (mistakes made, regrets, and wishing things turned out different) can be a recipe for depression and sadness. It’s the past that can’t be changed and is therefore the least productive thing we can focus on. Taking the lessons learned and admiring our growth is the better way to think about our past as we focus on living in the present and planning for the future. This was an on-going battle for me for some time until one day I had a moment of clarity and realized that the lessons learned from mistakes were actually of great value. Without the past being as it was, I would have much more difficulty finding the success and fulfillment I feel and experience now.

Speaking of the past; last week, I got into the ‘way back machine’ and attended a concert with Def Leppard, Poison, and Tesla. It brought me back to my teen years. That’s the kind of ‘living in the past’ I can get behind. It was a great crowd with a festive vibe that was just fun all around. It was also a great avenue for some original jokes…..they’re coming. Patience.

Words of Wisdom

1. You can’t be positive if you’re always in a state of negative. Complaining, even internally, will take away from having positive emotions. Focus on what’s good first. Then, focus on what’s possible and the potential for change that could lead to better.

2. As a writer, I always try to avoid clichés (sometimes you have to as they can be the absolute best fit). We should all try to avoid clichés when possible. From now on, never refer to your weakness as your “achilles heel.” Instead, refer to the weakness as your “Thermal Exhaust Port”…..that is only two meters wide.

As promised, it’s time for the ending joke(s). These jokes will require a bit of knowledge about 80’s music and Tesla, Poison, and Def Leppard in particular. Good luck and enjoy.

Conversations with friends before the concert:

Friend: “Hey, I can’t wait for Def Leppard with Poison and Tesla. What songs are you looking forward to the most?”

Me: “Dr. Feelgood, Livin’ on a Prayer….oh and Cherry Pie.”

Friend: “Those aren’t songs by those bands!”

Me: “I know. I’m joking. Are you getting it?”

Friend: “Huh?”

Me: “♫♪Armageddon It?!!♫♪”

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Friend: “What’s your favourite Def Leppard song?”

Me: “Love Pies!…great song.”

Friend: “I don’t think that’s how it goes.”

Me: “What are you talking about? ♪Love Pies! Love kneads. It’s what I eat!♫”

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Friend: “Armegeddon It is my favourite song from Def Leppard.”

Me: “For me it goes, 1. Armedrummin It. 2. Armesingin It.”

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Conversations with friends after the concert:

Friend: “Tesla were good!”

Me: “Yeah but it was weird when they started slowing down and then had to be plugged in to re-charge.”

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Friend: “I forgot the name of Tesla’s lead singer.”

Me: “Elon Musk.”

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Friend: “What did you think of Def Leppard?”

Me: “They were good, high energy. They seemed full-on into it….except the drummer. He seemed to be only part into it. He seemed Two Steps Behind.”

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Friend: “I love Every Rose Has it’s Thorn by Poison!”

Me: “I like the gay Norwegian version better.”

Friend: “Huh?”

Me: “♪Every Roy Has His Thor♫”

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Disclaimer: Rick Allen is an amazing drummer who has overcome tremendous odds to continue to play music.