Rejection, Success, and Hot Pee

Happy February! It’s Blog Post #30 and lots to share. This year did not start well. First, I got the deadliest affliction known to humans….the dreaded man-cold! Then, I discovered that the first article I ever published is no longer available on-line as the site seems to have been shut down. Then, I received multiple writing rejections on multiple fronts. Somehow, it’s all good though.

A weird thing can happen when you put yourself out there into the world….Rejection! Learning often comes after criticism, rejection, and disappointment though. I’ve recently been learning my freakin’ face off. With that said, it is the risk-reward of putting yourself out there and it must be done if life is to be lived optimally and on your own terms.

Humour in Hell

Did you read “Humour in Healthcare 3”? If you didn’t, you missed it. I withdrew the post from my workplace blog after receiving an e-mail about some ‘concerns’. Questions about the appropriateness of the content were expressed and for that reason, I did volunteer to have it removed. While I don’t agree and feel that the jokes are both funny and appropriate, I fully understand that a health organization must closely monitor and scrutinize content which represents their policies, goals, and mission. All names and identifying features are removed/changed when talking about patients and often the stories are, in fact, completely made up. I was not going to write for my workplace blog anymore but then I had a change of heart. This was a learning opportunity. I was initially very disappointed and my ego was hurt. With a little time, the ego healed and perspective came back. Instead, I decided to re-write the post, removing the controversial stories/jokes, and putting myself out there once again. Check it out here: http://vchblogs.ca/humour-healthcare-3-2/

Action

Next, I contacted a healthcare website (Confident Voices in Healthcare) and explained the situation with my first written article and asked if they would publish it. I received a resounding “yes” and am proud to say it’s back up for people to read (complete with the proper punctuation this time and a bio of the author….love that author!) Check it out here: http://www.confidentvoices.com/2018/01/24/sylvia-moreau-a-nurses-story-life-affirming-message/
Thank you to Beth Boynton for seeing the value of this article and publishing it.

I took this photo of Phewa Lake in Pokhara, Nepal in 2013.

Phewa Lake

Published!

It’s not all criticism, rejection, and disappointment. If you keep fishing, you’re eventually going to get a bite. I recently had an article published at ‘Blake Writes’, a new Men’s Lifestyle Blog looking to break away from the media’s idea of normal and mainstream. Blake Writes looks to cater to a more broad and diverse audience of men. I hope to write more article for Blake Writes in the future. You can read my article here (please note that this was not the title I wrote):
https://www.blakewrites.com/articles/time-to-turn-up
My title was “Have Your Drink…..and drink it too”.                                                     *Note: Many people, including myself, have had trouble reading this article on their phone or IPad as one side/margin is cut off. It works best on a laptop or desktop computer. I have contacted the administrator to inform him of the problem.

San Francisco Bound

In less than two weeks my wife and are going to San Francisco, California, U.S.A. We’re looking forward to a short get-away (1 week), seeing the Golden Gate Bridge, Alcatraz, and Napa Valley. We’re also going to watch our beloved local hockey team, the Vancouver Canucks, as they play the Sharks in San Jose. There should be some travel writing material acquired and hopefully an article to share in the near future.

Words of Wisdom

1. Don’t let rejection or the fear of rejection stop you from taking action towards your passion and worthwhile pursuits. Here are the choices:

A. Take action and have success.

B. Take action, fail, and then learn.

C. Take no action and ensure no success.

2. Sometimes you just have to work on the project even when you don’t feel like working on the project. Jocko Willink – “What do I do when I don’t feel like hammering on the project?….I HAMMER on the project!” I’ve been really trying to H.O.T. P. (hammer on the project) more often and consistently. I hope to continue hot ‘p’ing and you should too.

It’s time for the ending jokes. These are not for millennials and may in fact not really be for anyone. A lot of people won’t get them….but when has that ever stopped me from posting them? Enjoy.

My wife’s cousin recently said, “Every time I hear the song, ‘Foxy Lady’, I always think of Dana Carvey as Garth in Wayne’s World doing the little finger-ears and mouthing, ‘Foxxxxy’……. ‘Ladyyy’. He hasn’t come up with anything new for a while.”
I responded, “That’s because he’s dead.”
“He’s dead!? I didn’t know that.”
“He died in 1970…greatest guitarist ever!”

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My wife recently asked me, “What should we do first when we get to San Francisco?”
I said, “First thing I have to do is send a message on Twitter that says, “Rice-a-roni”.”
“Why?”
“Because it’s a San Francisco tweet.”

 

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Do You Ear What I Year?

Happy 2018! It’s Blog Post #29 and the best way to start the new year….besides running. Eating right would also be a good way to start….and yoga. The gym would be good too. Sleeping well….that’s a great way to start the year. Being kind to others….that might be a better way to start the new year. Ok, so Blog Post #29 is among the top 50 ways to start the new year!

Celebrating the new year is great but every day can be celebrated. Celebrate being alive and having opportunity to love, contribute, grow, and have good feelings (joy, happiness, fun, etc.). I took this photo in the evening under a bridge in Guangzhou, China in 2016. Dancing, playing, relaxing, and enjoying the moment…

20161018_061919

A Review. 2017

It’s been an interesting year. I’m proud to say I made progress in 2017. My career as an R.N. has improved immensely as I’ve been slowly pushed into more leadership roles. The steep learning curve and subsequent discomfort has been embraced rather than resisted (my default reaction). Travels in 2017 included Sayulita and Guayabitos in western Mexico. Poulsbo, Bellingham, and Seattle in the western United States were also visited and enjoyed, even if not all that far from where I live. Looking ahead, San Fransisco, Portland, and Great Britain (Scotland and Ireland) are next on the list. I missed 5 workouts in 2017 so I think I can honestly say that it’s a part of my life now. I am 19.4 lbs (8.8 kg) lighter than I was in January 2016. Writing has been amazing in 2017. First, there’s still this blog….this great big beautiful blog. Next, I’ve contributed to my workplace blog not only with humour but also with worthwhile issues for those who work in healthcare. The end of 2017 saw another one of my ‘Humour in Healthcare’ blog posts go online. You can check it out here: http://vchblogs.ca/humour-healthcare-3/ . I’m looking forward to the year ahead as I have a number of upcoming writing projects I hope to share soon.

“Let the past die.” – Kylo Ren

Looking Ahead. 2018

What does 2018 hold for us? I will make some bold predictions and we’ll see where we are at the end of the year:
1. Celebrities of various levels will die. Drugs, old age, and disease took many of the best artists and icons in 2017. I predict this trend will continue.
2. “The War on Drugs” will be the next big rock band! My workouts and runs are currently fueled by this amazing music.
The War on Drugs – Pain
3. Atheism will continue to stagnate while people look to higher powers to explain war, disease, and the meaning of it all. Religion isn’t going anywhere.
4. Fentanyl laced street drugs will be an increasing health threat. There will be cries for action from government and health authorities with little effect. The drugs will become more and more potent like the latest threat, Carfentanyl. It is only a matter of time before we’ll be saying, “What’s next?… Truckfentanyl?”
5. There will be positives. There has to be. We’ll find ways to connect, to support, to be kind. News outlets will be pushed to see the positive side of the human experience. Positivity will still exist and you’ll find it… if you look for it. What will you focus on in 2018?
Bonus Prediction: The Vancouver Canucks will not win the Stanley Cup.

Words of Wisdom

1.Try to look at the positives for the upcoming year. Sure, you could think that 2018 is going to be filled with aging musicians dying, no Game of Thrones, stupid Trumpisms, and sitting through yet another disappointing Jurassic Park but where will that get you? Instead, focus on all the good that is coming. Deadpool 2, The Incredibles 2, and more of this amazing blog are in store for 2018. Now there’s something to be focused on and excited about!
2. Stock Tip: Buy the new chocolate bitcoin. It’s a virtual chocolate currency that only trades online and therefore does not add sugar or calories to your diet.

Ending jokes aren’t going anywhere despite the hate mail! I resolve to write more jokes in 2018. If you have your hearing, appreciate it every day. Hearing loss can’t be the topic of jokes….oh wait. Enjoy

I recently read that a North Korean defector was found to have Anthrax antibodies likely due to exposure to Anthrax.

I thought, ‘Good. I’m pretty sure I have the same thing….along with Justin Bieber and Pink antibodies.’      

Do these antibodies surround and protect the ear drums?           
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My friend has had progressive hearing loss for years. She was telling me that she was going to be getting hearing aids after she was recently tested.

She said, “I have trouble hearing ‘A’s, ‘O’s, ‘E’s, and ‘R’s.” 

I said, “Oh my god! You think my name is ‘Y’ ??”

Sweet Self-Patting Tree-Punching Fist-Bumping End-of-the-Year Results

All fans on deck. Blog Post #28 is here and likely my last…..for 2017. Like a lot of people, I’ve been pretty busy as George Michael Memorial Day (December 25th) approaches. My discipline has been waning in recent weeks and I’ve been battling to ‘Just Do It’ and get stuff done. It’s taken every ounce of my mental strength to get to the gym, go for runs, and work on various writing projects. Working at the hospital, Xmas preparation, and all the general rigors of life have all been considered for use as excuses to stop, rest, and/or be lazy. However, despite a drop in motivation, I have stuck to it and continue to work away. Discipline cares not about motivation and how much I want or don’t want to do something. It only looks at results….sweet sweet results.

Unfortunately, I don’t really have any results. I’ve submitted a couple of fun writing projects for publication, only to hear silence. I also applied to a few new publications/websites with underwhelming response. Is that Vancouver food blog still needing someone? Why did I start this freelance writing thing again?

Oh yeah….Words, words are cool. I’ve finished a couple of projects and hope to have more “Published Works” for you soon. Patience.

Check out this George Michael Memorial Day Tree. This photo is actually taken by my wife near where we live. It turned out quite well so I thought I’d share her work here.

YVR Xmas

Looking Back

At the beginning of the year, I made some bold predictions. Let’s see how I did:

1. Celebrities of various levels will die. Yeah, I think we can say I got that one right. From Carrie Fisher, Hugh Hefner, and David Cassidy to Roger Moore, Bill Paxton, and Tom Petty (to name just a few), there were a lot of well known actors, singers, and musicians who left us. I was especially sad at the death of Gord Downie. Downie died the day before my birthday in October from aggressive brain cancer. Downie was the artistic and animated front man for The Tragically Hip, a Canadian rock band that formed in 1984. Downie was making music and playing shows right up until his death this year. I will continue to enjoy his music Fully and Completely.

2. I predicted The Weeknd’s “I Feel It Coming” would be the biggest song of the year….guess I was wrong.

3. Atheism didn’t make any real headway….as I predicted.

4. Fentanyl laced street drugs continue to be a major health threat as predicted. It’s difficult to see where the solutions lie or how we can do a better job protecting public health. Especially where I live (Vancouver), it’s a crisis that doesn’t seem to have an end in sight.

5. As predicted, there were positives. We just have to focus on them. No nuclear war (tree punch), a new Star Wars movie released (fist bump), and this blog continues to hum along (self back pat).

Words of Wisdom

1. Be careful as ‘tis the season for work Xmas parties. Don’t fall down stairs, make inappropriate jokes or be overly intoxicated in public. I recently heard the story of an open bar put on by management to get staff to speak more freely about work and how they perceived their performances. One boss was openly spiking the punch with various liqueurs and spirits. Eventually, an employee was heard to say, “What kind of boss mixes five different types of alcohol at a work party?”

“Ummm….an awesome one!!”

2. Take your job seriously and always do the best that you can. I recently responded to a Craigslist Ad looking for a “Music Video Pitch Writer.” I responded with “concert footage of the band playing the song”…that’s free and just for you (self back pat).

It’s the ending jokes. Flu and cold season is here….nothing funny about that Roy!

It could be worse.

You could be a nurse.

Enjoy

At the end of her day shift, Mary, the Charge Nurse, wasn’t feeling well. She was scheduled to work again the next morning. She decided to call in sick right away even before her shift had ended as it was the best thing for her and her patients. Mary faxed her info to the staffing office and called into the Sick Call/Absentee Line to inform her employer that she was calling in sick for the following day. A few minutes later, the staffing office called the nursing station asking to speak to the Charge Nurse. They informed Mary (the Charge Nurse) that Mary called in sick for the following day and would need to be replaced. For fun, Mary told staffing to call Mary back and tell her that she had to come in because the Charge Nurse said so. Names and facts were changed for this story.
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There was a Norwalk outbreak at work. I cleaned up a lot of vomit and liquid stool. I changed a lot of diapers because I wanted to do my doody. We were often working short because of staff getting Norwalk. One co-worker called in and said she was sick when we were already short. I said, “C’mon! Just nor walk it off.” Norwalk proves that life is like a box of chocolates, you’re eventually going to get sick with diarrhea.  

 

Show Your Cookies and Thank Me Later

Blog Post #27. Appreciating what we have is a great way to start the day and find happiness. We all have something, or many things, to be thankful for. Thinking of all I have and all that is good is the way I try to start my day. I took this photo in Vancouver near where I live on Thanksgiving Day. Beauty, inspiration, and appreciation captured on one amazing October evening in Vancouver.

Vancouver 2

While it’s great to be thankful, it doesn’t mean that we can’t strive for more. It’s just that it’s important that ‘the more’ is not a requirement for happiness. We can always choose happiness all along the journey, whatever journey that may be.

Recently, I’ve been tackling a number of writing, educational, and fitness projects.

Writing: I have four current projects on the go. Unfortunately, I don’t have any more published articles to share at this time but hope to have one or two before the year is finished. I did find a writing job that I was going to apply for. The ad said, “Plummer wanded. Must be sertified. Locals to Halfiax only.” The ad was wisely placed in the “Writer Needed” section.

On the education front, I have been reading regularly to increase my nursing and medical knowledge. It can’t all be suppositories, misunderstandings, and laughter.

Fitness: I have moved from body weight leg training sessions to the real deal barbell squats and dead lifts once a week. I’ll let you know how it goes once I can stand up straight and feel my feet again.

Giving Thanks

Thanks to everyone who has supported my blog by sending me e-mails, or social media messages with words of encouragement. I have even had a few people at work that I don’t really know say they’ve liked my writing. It’s been encouraging and fun. I hope to keep it going and continue to enjoy the journey. If you like my work, please ‘share’ or ‘like’ my articles and blog posts on social media and pass them on to your friends and family…..or you can e-mail me money directly:)

Warning: Sense of Humour Required.  

My wife and I have recently booked a flight to take part in a foreign humanitarian aid project. Fires have devastated many areas around the globe this past summer and my wife and I really wanted to find a way to give back. We will be travelling to Napa, California in February to support the wine tour industry and local wineries by viewing the area (isn’t that how world leaders help disaster areas?), sampling local products, and giving moral support. It was the least we could do. Don’t let it be said we didn’t do the least we could do.

Words of Wisdom

1. I recently read an amazing quote that I wanted to share. I couldn’t find who originally said it. I want to give credit where credit is due. I’m just going to assume whoever said it was inspired by and got the words from Jesus. So I’ve taken this quote from Jesus and added to it for ‘Words of Wisdom’:
“Motivation, inspiration, and determination will come. It may not seem like it sometimes. These things will eventually find you. You just have to be at the gym warming up.”

2. Reading and math are important! In my last post I shared about my new reading challenge. I challenged myself to read ten minutes a day in the morning before starting my day. So far so good as I’ve stuck to that goal. I’m now going to start a new challenge. I’m going to work on my math skills for ten minutes each morning before getting on with my day. That’s 55 minutes a week of working on my math skills. Over four weeks, that’ll be 310 minutes of math practice time! I’ll let you know how it goes.

It’s time for the ending joke/stories. It’s a little fun. No need to be offended. Enjoy.

My wife and I drove to the States last year for a mid-week getaway brewery tour. On our return, the border guard was not very nice or personable. She began asking all sorts of questions about where we had been and what we were bringing back.

She asked, “What were you doing there?”

I replied, “We went on a brewery tour.”

“What do you do? What kind of jobs let you go travelling and brewery touring in the middle of the week?”

“A job like yours; a 24 hour-seven day a week-functioning organization that needs people to work at any and all times.”

“What were the names of the breweries you went to?”

“Ummm, there was Backoff Brewing, Interrogatemuch Brewing, and TheWhatsYourProb Brewery…..we didn’t make it to the Powertrippy Brewpub.”

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I recently took a course on how to deal with people who become agitated and angry (through dementia, delirium, drugs, mental illness, anger issues etc). One strategy suggested that you offer them cookies and ice cream and show them photos on your phone of your cat. It was a long day talking about a myriad of issues and scenarios. I went to work a week later and someone asked me what I learned from the course.

I said, “Well, one strategy is to take out your phone and show them photos of your cookies and then offer them cat and ice cream.”

 

Humbly Getting to the End

Blog Post #26. Why are some people smug and arrogant? Why do some of us look down on others? It seems really stupid once you have some inkling of how life works. Life will absolutely kick you directly in the face at some point no matter who you are. Whether you’re rich, poor, gifted, talented, lazy, good looking, successful, lucky, hard working, motivated, ambitious, or fortunate, life will smack you right at the base of your being leaving you wondering if you’ll ever get up again. How can we be anything but humble when we know every moment is fleeting and undoubtedly temporary? Even though I’m here writing this blog, with over a million or so followers, you don’t see me bragging about another published article or how my blog post on the future of healthcare has gone viral! Be humble and compassionate. None of us are getting out of here alive or without a few kicks to the teeth.

Published!

Since travelling is one of my favorite things to do, it’s not surprising that travel writing has been a large part of my portfolio. This month I had another travel article published by WanderGoGo. They’ve got a lot of useful travel information and links to fantastic travel products. They’ve also been great to work with. Check out my article on a little town in Mexico that I’ve been fortunate to visit twice.

http://www.wandergogo.com/mexico-on-a-budget-rincon-de-guayabitos/

I was disappointed that they decided to edit out one of my jokes (in other words, remove it). I originally wrote, “Grab a few snacks and cervazas to enjoy a picnic on the island while watching pelicans awkwardly dive bomb into the water. From August to January, watch local sea turtle conservations release baby turtles into the ocean. Someone keep those darn pelicans away!” The last sentence was removed. I guess my humour isn’t always for everybody. I hate it when life kicks me in the face like that. I’m thinking of starting a GoFundMe page to have the joke re-instated. Sign the petition, join the movement, end censorship, and stand up for what’s right!

It’s not the first time they’ve edited a bit of my work. I almost didn’t see it. It was in my first article with them where at the very end, they changed my sentence to begin with the word, “But….”. I would never begin a sentence with the word “But”. But they did publish my article, so I can’t really complain.

Foodie Time

My photo for this post is a foodie pic I took of a wonderful dessert platter that was given to my wife in August. Delicious calorie bombardment!!

BH Dessert

In life, it’s important to say “yes” to possibilities and opportunities. It’s also very important to sometimes say, “no”. After being offered a food blogger position with a local start up, I had to politely decline. There was way too much of a time and resource commitment required of me that I didn’t want to fulfill. I’m loving what I’m doing now (blogging and article writing on various topics) and I didn’t want to sacrifice that for one niche. It was a difficult decision but the right one. I want to wish Hidden Gems all the best going forward. They have ambitions of reinventing the coverage of the Vancouver food scene and promoting small locally owned restaurants. Check out their site here:

http://tryhiddengems.com/

Words of Wisdom

1. Reading is good for you. I’ve started a ten minute/a day reading challenge. I read ten minutes in the morning as soon as I wake up and before I do anything. It may not seem like much but it does add up (70 minutes of extra reading per week) and gets me off to a good start for the day.

2. With all the craziness that can happen at any given moment, being prepared is important (not ‘Melania’s shoes-important’ but still important). When life gives you peanuts, make sure you have your epi-pen! If the electricity isn’t working, your place still needs to be cleaned.

How am I supposed to vacuum the house with the power out?

Suck it up!

 

You’ve endured my lectures and updates. Now it’s time for my Original ending jokes: Getting kicked in the face and some nursing humour. Enjoy!
I was excited about my nursing joke about orange cheese from Blog Post #24. It didn’t get the response I expected. The knock knock joke from my nephew that I tweaked for Blog Post #2 was more popular. I was talking to my nephew’s mother about my orange cheese joke and she said, “Don’t worry. I’ll send you more of my son’s knock knock jokes.”

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I brought a patient all his medication one evening. I brought his pills, liquid, an inhaler, eye drops, two injections, and a suppository.

I asked him, “Would you like to get the suppository over with first?”

He said, “No. I’ll save that for the end.”

 

Measure Once. Cut Twice. No Erorrs.

It’s October and time for Blog Post # 25! I meant to write sooner but I forgot my Blog-In password. I can’t believe I forgot ‘royishilarious’. I continue to work on my writing and have a few different projects on the go. Thanks to everyone who connected with me on LinkedIn and gave me some advice…..still not really getting it. My photo for this blog is from Mexico.

Mexico

No, this is not the wall that Trump promised separating Mexico from the United States, although that does look like Trump in the background. No, wait. That’s the evil eye of Sauron. Same thing.

It looks like I will begin writing for a Vancouver food blog after all. I’ve been welcomed to the team and am looking forward to trying some tasty food and passing the info on via photos and the written word. They’re a site that’s been around for a while but they’re in the process of revamping and adding more bloggers and content. I’ll share more as I know more but I’m not expecting I’ll have any articles coming up from them for some time.

I was published again last week. I wrote an opinion piece for my workplace (Vancouver Coastal Health) blog. It’s not for everyone but if you’re a healthcare worker or know someone who is, it may be of interest. It’s basically my thoughts on the future of healthcare and about sharing ideas on how to improve the system for everyone. You can read it here:

http://vchblogs.ca/took-vch-survey/

This month is my vacation from work. Before you say, “Hold on a sec’! Don’t you work part time and take 4 – 9 days off at a time?” Yes, yes I do. Usually, I take my vacation time in October and then travel to some amazing place. This year, I will be staying at home in Vancouver (also an amazing place) while hosting my cousin who will be visiting from Norway. This will be his first ever visit to North America. This will definitely cut into my writing time so I won’t have any new articles coming out for a while. I’m looking forward to a good staycation and wonder if a little Vancouver travel article might get started. I hope to do all the touristy things here in Vancouver, on Vancouver Island, and even Seattle that I have yet to do.

Preparing for Food Blogging

Recently, I’ve been in a lot of discussions about food and diet. For those who follow my blog, you know I’m a protein advocate. I was eating 160 – 180 grams of protein a day. I’ve cut that back to 135 – 160 grams a day due to recent research and the desire to have a bit more energy for running. It is very interesting what people think is “healthy.” Did you know, “if it has seafood or red meat in it, you shouldn’t eat it. It’s not good for you.” ? Did you also know that the healthiest people are vegans and vegetarians? I also learned that, “the ketogenic diet is the best thing for you.” Really? No wonder Trump won the US election. Fake news makes anything and everything possible. If you can make it up, you can make it true. Thanks Internet.

I was recently asked if I was a vegetarian.

I said, “No, I decided to be healthy instead.”

“Well, I’m a vegan. That’s healthy.”

“Nothankyoulations!”

Measure This

I came across something weird at a restaurant recently. The menu offered a case of chicken wings. What is that? It also offered quarts of beer.

”I’ll have a quart of ale and a truss of asparagus with my case of chicken wings. My friend would like a cord of French fries with a cup of ketchup and a demiard of beer. We can’t pay you now but I’ll write you a check for a dozen half-pieces that you can cash in a fortnight.”

Try reading that part again with a posh British accent.

Words of Wisdom

1. Even if you fail at something, remember to learn from your mistakes and let the lessons of being unsuccessful guide you to success. I was recently asked what the most important lesson is that I’ve learned since starting freelance writing. I said that success comes from being mistake free and meticulous with the details. Make sure your work is free of erorrs and typos.

Proof reading is just like the blood bank. You’re always looking for Type Os.

2. If you want someone to do you a favour, you’ve got to know how to ask properly….maybe offer to do them a favour in exchange. Always say, “please” and “thank you.” My wife has learned how to ask me for favours. One day she was struggling to open a jar. She was trying so hard, her face turned red, and finally she stopped and said, “Oh my god. Can you open this jar?”

“Now you’re learning to ask properly.”

Thanks to everyone who emailed me about the orgy joke. I’m glad you liked it. That was a 100% Roy-original that really came out of nowhere. My wife says it should go back there. For the ending joke this time, I’ve gone back to my tried and true: Star Wars. Enjoy.

My friend and I had a disagreement about ‘The Force Awakens’. He didn’t like it. He said it felt too much like “A New Hope”. He’s convinced the next movie will be just like “The Empire Strikes Back” with the wanna-be Jedi going to an isolated planet where the Jedi master has exiled himself, only to learn that a relative is the evil villain that needs to be faced. Then the third movie will be just like “Return of the Jedi” where the heroes need to rescued from a hoard of various muppets.
I said, “Ugh….you’re right. That’s not the worst part though. Then ten years later they’re going to digitally re-make and re-release the movies with a bunch of fraggles all over the place for no reason before making prequels about Kylo Ren’s childhood….ugh.”

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As an atheist, I do try to tread carefully in not offending. This joke may or may not offend….or even work.

Why is there no intelligent life on Mars?

1. Because Mars lacks prayer.

2. Because Mars doesn’t have any Believers.

3. Because Jesus is an only child and he wants to keep it that way.

4. Because God didn’t want to sacrifice another son.

5. Because God didn’t have another son.

6. Because God didn’t have another sun.

7. Because Bruno owns the naming rights and there’s no 24 Karat Magic in the air.

Orgies and Inspiration!! …and how to write clickable titles.

Blog Post #24 is finally here. We’re at the end of summer with fall just around the corner, yet everyone seems focused on the fact that, ‘Winter is Coming.’ I just spent the week in Kamloops, British Columbia, Canada enjoying warm sunny days with the time and freedom to get some writing done. I don’t call these trips ‘vacations’ anymore. My wife’s family is in Kamloops so I’m usually there 1-3 times a year. It’s a four hour drive but it took only an hour using “Game of Thrones Season Seven Logic”, a new type of intercontinental travel. From ‘A New Hope’ to ‘The Force Awakens’, advancements in TIE Fighter travel advanced minimally while travel across continents in six seasons of GoT went from weeks to minutes. Come on now!?

I took this photo at The Kamloops Wildlife Park in 2014. There were no dragons.….

20150723_113444

I have been neglecting my blog a little as I continue to work on getting more published articles out into the world. Success! I had a travel article I wrote about Poulsbo, Washington, U.S.A. published last week by the travel site, WanderGoGo. If you haven’t had a chance to read it, check it out here:

http://www.wandergogo.com/poulsbo-washington-little-norway/                                     (Please Like and Share on Facebook and/or Twitter if possible).

In other exciting news, I am again in the running to be writing for a Vancouver food blog. Let’s see how this attempt turns out. I’ve also been working hard at my LinkedIn profile and acquiring connections. If you’re on LinkedIn, connect with me there and give me some tips. I’m still not really sure what I’m doing. LinkedIn keeps suggesting jobs for me….full time, leadership, prestige, deadline-based jobs. Haven’t they read my blog? Work less. Enjoy life more!

Fake News: After seeing the success of Conor McGregor vs. Floyd Mayweather in the boxing ring, Connor McDavid will take on Roger Federer in a tennis match at Flushing Meadows for 100 billion dollars. Word is that McDavid is just waiting until Federer turns 100 years old.

My first blog post last year was inspired by a TED Talk by Tim Urban. The message was to stop procrastinating because we’re all running out of days. From that talk, this hilarious blog was born. Lately, I’ve been inspired by videos from Joe Rogan (yes, that Joe Rogan). He’s a comedian, Podcast host, UFC announcer, MMA practitioner, and former host of Fear Factor….exhausting. While I don’t necessarily agree with his views on a number of issues (chiropractors, ketogenic diets, TRT, etc.), I find his talks on life, motivation, working out, and how to live your best life to be awe-inspiring. I have watched this video over and over again and it has motivated me to work out more, write more often, fear less, and find inspiration in others. For inspiration, click here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e_eJRDl2J6Y

 
Words of Wisdom

1. Sometimes, you just need to take charge….even if you really don’t want to. There’s a saying that you need to “Own the day or the day will own you.” For those of us who work nights (and enjoy GoT), we have a similar saying; “Own the night or the knight (king) will own you.”

2.If you regularly walk or run around a circular track, spend an equal amount of time going in each direction. It will balance your muscles out as you won’t always be turning in the same direction.

The ending jokes this time are very experimental. Sometimes, you just have to try and see how it goes. Enjoy.

 
Credit to my dad for this one:

My dad walks the track every day. One day he was walking and met a guy there who was walking in the opposite direction as everyone else. My dad asked, “Why are you doing that?”

The guy said, “My physiotherapist says I should go to the track and walk an equal amount in each direction to balance my muscles.”

The next day, the guy was again there walking in the opposite direction as everyone else. Someone asked my dad, “Why is that guy going in the opposite direction?”

My dad replied, “His psychiatrist told him he should.”
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Before leaving a patient, I always ask, “Is there anything else you need?” Some patients can be funny, clever, or hilarious. I get answers like, “Yeah, a ticket out of here.”, “a million dollars.”, “a new healthy body.” etc. Sometimes I have to just smile, pretend I didn’t hear, and move on.

One shift, I asked my patient, “Is there anything else you need?”

He said, “Yeah. I want women and orgies!”

I brought him a cheddar Kraft Single.

“What the hell is this?”

“It’s the orange cheese you asked for.”